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Anatomy and Evolution
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Slade Calormorn
Seldric Winterblade

Anatomy and Evolution

Sex, or more specifically, penile dominance is the most primal of all feelings, goals, and desires. It's not our instinctual right to have sex, but one will find that as one works one's way down a list of most intelligent beings, one would find that penile activities to be among the most dominant:

  • Humans: They and have sex for pleasure.

  • Dolphins: The only other creature aside from humans to have sex for pleasure, they are considered to be even smarter than monkeys.

  • Monkeys: These creatures, traditionally believed to be the next step down from humans on the evolutionary chain, masturbate frequently.

Now as the list is looked over, one would notice that the creatures with the largest penises have the smallest brain capacities. This serves to prove that penises are primal objects.

  • Dog: Not very large, but larger than a human's.

  • Horses: Neutral in intelligence like dogs, but with a fairly large penis.

  • Dinosaurs: The largest land creatures, with the smallest brains in proportion, they would naturally have the largest penis of land creatures.

  • Blue Whale: The largest mammal ever evolutionized, with a fittingly small brain.

This creature's penis is so large, and our primal intrigue with penises has caused we as a society to develop a word that is used specifically to describe a whale penis: Dork. This word is the same word that I have been rather unfavorabley described as many times in my life. But when I look over this rant, and look at what a dork really symbolizes. I do not get angered. I will simply say to those people, "Thank you. Thank you for letting me part of something great." Last updated Friday February 22, 2001.